The 100th post

You know how people always say that a picture is worth a thousand words? I can do better. This 100th post features a youtube video starring me as the story's protagonist. (bluff you. It's actually another rant.)

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XD your head - part II

Paul: Why is the accounting profession dominated by females?
Me: Only at the lower levels ya? One sees more males as they move up the ladder.
GS: That's because females like to look at figures, and males like to look at their figures! XD!

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GS: Who's better? Sun Wukong or Batman?

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Paul: How come people worship Sun Wukong, but nobody worships Zhu Ba Jie or Sha Wu Jing?
GS: Would you rather worship a top-tier god or a second/third tier god?
(C'mon, you saw that one coming).

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(On taking our orders)
Blur Uncle: Ai lim simi?
Me: Teh-O bing
Paul: yuan-yang si.
Blur Uncle: Simi?
Paul: Yuan-yang SI!
Blur Uncle: Lim Simi?
Paul:...Teh-O Gosong.

Blur uncle: (pointing to me) Le ai lim dao ni ah? (Soybean milk)

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Paul: In comparing who's better, we must examine the internal logic of the universe in which that character resides in.
GS: But Batman has the (utility) belt! XD

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(While I was quoting to the guys about what Miss X told me about not having a boyfriend)

me: Why don't you have one?
me (quoting miss X): Heard alot of stories from my cousin about her husband/ex-boyfriends beating and ill-treating her. I'm terrified.
Paul: eh, got ask her if she looks like her cousin or not?

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Good night(.)

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Wazzat sticking out of your back man?

You all have probably heard how I almost got set up at work, how fed up I was, and how f***ed up a certain somebody is. Well, here's the sequel.

Miss X was given (by yours truly) the heavy responsibility of obtaining a certain bank facilities agreement from the client. Such a daunting (sic) task typically involves, through a keen sense of observation, one to discern the following:-


1) Recognising which party issued the letter.
Through a series of inspections and an acute sense of smell, Miss X will pick out the relevant agreement by looking at the letterhead of the contract.

2) If the minute details within the bank facilities letter are consistent with the workings on our prior year working papers. Say, if our working papers say the loan period starts from 1st Jan, Miss X will then scrutinise, peruse and inspect the cheem loan agreement for that one golden line which says "Date of inception...1st Jan 20xx-31 Dec 20xx".

3) Agreeing the details to our current year working papers.
Transposing the details from the agreement to our working papers via the most complex computer program ever created in the history of mankind. Microsoft Excel.

4) Making a duplicate copy of the said agreement.
Her job requires her to operate a (gasp!!!) copier.

Sarcastic jokes aside, Miss X didn't know what loan agreement to copy because of the mere fact that there had been a minor typo in our prior year audit working papers as depicted below:-

Bank name: UOB (say)
Amount borrowed: 3.5m <--This figure read 3.3m in our prior year audit working papers
repayment period -1 Jan 1900- 31 Dec 2000
monthly repayment: $30,000
Date of inception dd/mm/yyyy
name of other party: Mr. Tan Ah Kow
etc etc

Having IDed a potential typo and not knowing what to do with it, she had me come over and verbally acknowledge that this was the document I wanted to be filed in.
.....
It gets better. When I finally get around to asking her why she would want to do a thing like that, the reply I get is "Because u ask me to get one, so I must make sure this is the correct one."

The pinnacle of covering backside. The epitome of kiasee-ness.
Wah lau.

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